A business acquaintance who started a new career as a financial services agent emailed me recently to request a meeting. I responded that my finances were handled by a longtime, trusted adviser. I was open to hearing about her new opportunity and to helping if possible, but not to a sales call. Was she comfortable with that? According to her reply, she was.

We met at a coffee shop. After five minutes of catching up, she launched into her sales script, complete with charts, graphs and a questionnaire on my personal and business finances. I listened politely, deferred on the questionnaire and asked for information on one product. She agreed to send it and I departed, feeling slightly dissatisfied with the exchange. The information she agreed to send has never arrived.

At any point, this meeting could have gone very differently for the agent if she had had the confidence to be honest. Here’s a replay of five missed opportunities.

Emailing a request to meet // Contacting acquaintances to request a meeting is good prospecting. Not honoring their parameters for the meeting is a breach of good faith. If your acquaintance’s reasons for meeting are not acceptable to you, don’t take the meeting; or if you do, adjust your approach.

Sticking to the script // After five minutes of small talk, the agent lost my trust because she did not modify her script to fit the meeting. The pre-meeting email exchange was an opportunity to suggest and ask for mutually agreeable discussion topics. Seeking mutual agreement and clarity in advance sets the stage for a productive dialogue. In this case, the agent could have suggested her ideal prospect profile as a discussion topic, to foreshadow a conversation on referrals.

Choosing a venue // The crowded cafe set the tone for an informal first meeting. It was not the best time or venue for discussing private financial matters, and it raised questions about the agent’s judgment. Match the venue and its level of privacy to your conversation, and don’t assume that an informal environment earns you the right to ask confidential questions, especially at a first meeting.

Following through on requests // The agent agreed to send information but never did. Ignoring requests you have agreed to fulfill compromises your professional integrity. If
the request is outside your area of sales or expertise, acknowledge that fact or refer the request to a colleague.

Sending a post-meeting thank-you // A thank-you email, call or handwritten note demonstrates good manners. If the meeting doesn’t unfold as you intended, review your prospecting, qualification and communication processes. Be gracious to the people who take the time to meet with you, regardless of the meeting’s outcome.

Each of your acquaintances is a potential prospect or referral source. When you send a request to meet, be honest with them—and yourself.