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Borrowing From the 1st National Bank of Uncle Steve


Any discussion about using money from friends and family needs to start with two facts, said Rebecca Gubbels, a business consultant with the UMKC Small Business and Technology Development Center.

1. This type of funding happens to be one of the most popular for young businesses. According to the Kauffman Foundation, friends and family are the No. 3 source of money, after the owner’s savings and credit cards.

2. Traditional lenders have an acronym for these kinds of loans, FF and F. It stands for friends, family and other fools.

For small business owners who are just getting started, it’s likely easier to obtain $10,000 from Uncle Steve than it is from the local bank.

But introducing a business transaction into a personal relationship also can sour feelings between loved ones and undermine a small business.

The secret to avoiding problems, Gubbels said, is to treat these kinds of agreements with the same level of respect given to any other major business transaction. Ultimately, it’s a loan, not a favor.


The beauty of friends-and-family loans is that practically everything is negotiable, Gubbels said. Friends and family can choose to lend more money for longer periods at lower rates (or no rates) than an institutional lender will.

“The only constraints are what the business needs and what the family member is willing to offer,” Gubbels said.

Friends and family also might be open to flexible repayment schedules that are based on milestones rather than fixed dates. Uncle Steve, for example, could decide that monthly loan payments don’t have to start until the business has recorded two consecutive months of sales above $1,000.

And, unlike a bank, Uncle Steve already knows who you are. Instead of looking into the business owner’s credit history and financial resources, friends and family want to know more about the business itself and how the money will be used.

“Every outside source has to learn who you are,” Gubbels said. “And with friends and family, you skip that step.”

While everything is negotiable, that doesn’t mean everything should be negotiable. For example, friends-and-family agreements should make clear that entrepreneurs are borrowing money, not selling equity in (and thus, control of) their company.

Even if both sides agree to that, don’t be surprised when loved ones push the boundaries to complain about decisions or offer unsolicited advice.

If you hated when Mom nagged you about cleaning your room, just wait until she digs into your P&L statement.


Gubbels strongly urges entrepreneurs to put all the terms of their friends-and-family agreements in writing.

Maybe the written agreement takes the form of an informal letter. Maybe the business owner and the lender hire an attorney to draft a formal note. (If you do go that route, Gubbels said, try to have most of the details worked out before hiring the lawyer—it could save you some money on legal bills.)

The complexity of the agreement will depend on how sizable the loan feels to either party. Uncle Steve, flush from his Powerball win, might not care if he ever gets his $10,000 back. But if Grandma Carol took that $10,000 out of her retirement fund, the loan will be a much bigger deal. She’ll want to understand all the details.

“If in doubt,” Gubbels said, “get a lawyer involved.”

Both sides should agree on the following questions:

» How big will the loan be?
» How will the loan be repaid? When are payments due, and how long does the borrower have to pay off the entire debt?
» What kind of return can the lender expect? While some friends and family might be OK with not charging interest, others will expect a return that reflects the level of risk they’re assuming.
» How will the funds be used? What say, if any, does the lender get in business operations? Gubbels notes that, generally speaking, bankers don’t get any direct input on operational matters.
» How will disputes be handled?
» If the business fails, will the owner still be personally obligated to pay off the remaining debt? For Gubbels, the answer is yes—otherwise, the “loan” is really a gift.

Some friends-and-family lenders might decide they’re not really going to enforce the terms of the deal, but Gubbels encourages them to keep that fact to themselves. Otherwise, a business owner could lose the incentive to put in the hard work that enables them to pay back the loan … and, coincidentally, make their company successful.

James Hart

Written by

James Hart is a freelance writer based in Kansas City.

Categories: Banking, Finance


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