It’s not easy to go out into the world and connect with strangers, hoping to impress them, be of use to them, get information from them that could become a game changer for you and perhaps even make a new friend. That’s especially true if you are somewhat introverted.

So how do you take the plunge, with grace, acumen, wit and purpose? And, by the way, how do you do it while being self-confident and at the same time humble? (Isn’t that an oxymoron?) I recently listened to a National Public Radio story broadcast on “All Things Considered.” The host, Renee Montagne, was talking with Lawrence Weschler, a New Yorker writer who covered Poland in the 1980s and ’90s, and who was now commenting on the recent death of Polish poet Wislawa Szymborska, a Nobel laureate for literature.

I must admit, I had not previously heard of Szymborska. That said, when I listened to excerpts from her work, I wished that I had. But my main point is not about her poetry; instead, it’s about how Weschler described her. He said Szymborska “was deeply profound, but she carried her gravity lightly. She was extremely clear. She was very, very modest.”

Being “Deeply Profound”

Lovely, I thought, to be perceived as “deeply profound,” yet with the ability to manage the weight of it so effortlessly—to be able to share information with others in a way that doesn’t bash them over the head with a sledgehammer but, rather, provides them with useful, meaningful data, in a clear and inviting way. What a wonderful characteristic to possess.

It occurred to me that we are each endless wells of information and experience. Few of us have earned Nobel Prizes in literature (or in networking), but there are areas of expertise we have mastered. The trick is to be able to quickly parse through and assess our personal databanks in order to come up with the right detail, story or response at the right time, and to convey that information to others in a way that is understandable and actionable.

When we do engage with our contacts, we must meet them where they are, invite them into our worlds, share information with them openly and in an inviting manner, in a way that authentically represents who we are and offers the best chance of truly connecting and, perhaps, beginning a relationship.

Listen, Then Share

On what topics are you “deeply profound”? Are you an expert, or do you have a strong, thoughtful opinion on a particular issue? Can you present that point of view in a way that is clear and can be embraced by others? What data can you share that will serve a valuable and meaningful purpose to your contacts? Are you prepared to listen first, and then to articulate in the context of the challenges your contacts face?

If so, you will establish trust and come to be known as a credible source of information, a valuable resource for others. This article was excerpted from the book Coffee Lunch Coffee: A Practical Field Guide for Master Networking.