Sometimes, setting an example for yourself sets one for others.

I recently accepted an invitation to speak at a business school conference. I typically don’t charge a fee for speaking at student events, but since I would be booking a flight, I asked if travel costs were covered. I was assured that they were, and I purchased a ticket. Then, a week before the event, an administrator apologetically informed me by email that that there would be no travel reimbursement. Somehow, despite several conversations and email summaries of the arrangements, the students had misunderstood the budget.

On the plus side, this was the first and hopefully only time I have ever encountered this situation. I have to admit that my initial reaction was disbelief. Did this business school really expect me to fly more than a thousand miles on my own dime to speak for free?

As I moved from indignation to introspection, two questions kept crossing my mind:

• How can I turn my response into a positive learning moment for everyone involved, including myself?
• How could I use this situation as an opportunity to live my personal brand?

I’d gotten a good price on the flight. With a little effort, I could arrange business meetings before and after the event. I could catch up with a longtime friend over dinner that evening. I could also choose to be insulted, turn down the invitation and end my interactions with the business school on a polite but unpleasant note. What kind of message would I be sending about my personal brand if I did that?

The next day, I sent a brief email message to the students and the administrator:

The mixed messages were unfortunate, and I appreciate your apology. I honor my commitments, and I will honor this one. I look forward to seeing you next week.

During the conference, the administrator apologized again and reimbursed my flight. I had a conversation with another speaker that led to new business for me. Most important, my decision to speak despite the miscommunications allowed me to make a quiet and potentially powerful statement about my personal brand, and perhaps set an example for the MBA candidates and future business leaders who attended the conference.

This situation reminded me that, regardless of external circumstances, we always have choices. We can allow our choices to be determined by the decisions and behaviors of others. Or we can make our own intentional choices, based on what we stand for and what we intrinsically know is the right thing to do. The learning moment for me? It’s easy to find a substitute speaker. But there is no substitute for the integrity of living your personal brand.