Although it takes practice, the irony of building sales confidence is that it’s not entirely about you. The more you express genuine interest in your prospects, the less you focus on yourself and the more confident you feel.

Regardless of whether you are a business owner, a sales beginner or a seasoned professional navigating the new normal, you can tune up your sales confidence by developing two essential skills: empathy and timing.

Empathy: The Key to You-to-You Selling

Effective selling is based on you-to-you communication. The next time you speak with a salesperson, count the number of times he or she uses the words “I” and “me,” or refers to “we” that does not include you. Empathy requires a communication style that reflects and incorporates the prospect’s point of view. Go easy on the “I’s” in your interactions and think you-to-you. Here’s an example of an I-to-you email I received recently, and a you-to-you version.

I-to-You: I wanted to contact you regarding your business objectives. I have some ideas for you that can reduce your IT expenses, and I would like to set up a time to talk to you about what we do.

You-to-You: As a business owner, you may be interested in a service that can reduce your IT expenses by as much as 25 percent. Your time and money are valuable, and a brief conversation between the two of us can determine how much you can save.

Empathy keeps your focus on engaging your prospects in the buying process and leads to a confidence-building book of sales.

Tune Up Your Timing

Top athletes develop a keen sense of timing, and so do successful salespeople. Here are two ways to hone your timing:

• Always outline your interactions and develop prospect-focused, you-to-you questions in advance. Estimates are that half of all sales interactions take place “from the hip,” with no planned agenda and no concrete outcomes. Preparing allows you to review your outcomes and refine your timing to shorten the prospect-to-customer cycle.
• Don’t wait for price to become a confidence-killing barrier to the sale. Introduce your terms and conditions in your first meeting with a prospect. Early disclosure of terms qualifies your prospect’s interest in moving forward and also reveals whether he or she is the decision-maker.

Take a Test Run

Give yourself permission to build your sales confidence gradually. Make a list of 20 to 30 prospects, then segment them into an A list, B list and C list. The A-list companies fit your best customer profile. The B-list companies meet some of your best customer criteria, and the C-list companies might be prospects or are neutral targets.

Most salespeople will approach the A list first. When it comes to practicing empathy and timing, the C-list companies are your most valuable prospects, so approach them first. Learning from your C list allows you to refine your process and make adjustments before you contact the prospects that match your best customer profile.

If you want to boost sales, take a tip from James Madison and tune up your confidence.